No Reservations Season 7 Episode 4: Kerala India
Tony travels back to one of his favorite travel destinations, India. This time Tony visits Kerala in the south of India. As Tony narrates he tells the audience India is “One of the few places in this world that I really find myself drawn to.” Kerala India is famous for its food and spices, Tony says the food in India is fresh, flavorful and delicious.
Tony and his guide visit a local food stall that features meat, a rare thing in India, which is mostly vegetarian due to the large Muslim and Christian population. In Kerala a variety of meats are available. Tony spots crispy cooked quail and with a smile on his face is ready to eat. Tony and his guide try a beef dish, the fried quail, mackerel, sardines, accompanied by curry lentil and bread to sop up the juices and spicy sauce. Tony asks his guide if the food is spicier in the south of India and the guide says yes, much spicier.
Tony arrives on set of famous South India film actor Mammootty, known for his action flicks and hounded by paparazzi everywhere he goes. Tony watches the star throw punches as bad guys fly and its all done in one take. Tony can’t believe the one take shots in comparison to filming No Reservations and says “It takes me three takes to walk into a f**king restaurant.” After filming Tony joins Mammootty in his trailer, where the paparazzi hover taking pictures as they dine on delicious food together. As Tony talks to Mammootty he realizes the star is a foodie. Tony tells the audience that Mammootty’s selection of food was very nice, and hands down, some of the best food he had on his India trip. Tony states Mammootty was generous and kind with his time.
Next Tony and his friends visit Mullapandhal Toddy Shop. Toddy is fermented sap from palm trees, a popular alcoholic beverage in Kerala. Tony has had toddy before and is not fond of it, telling the audience “Me, I’d rather get my buzz out of a bag of airplane glue or smoke the teeth from a plastic comb.” Tony has just been in Africa where he had food poisoning and an excess of palm based foods he spent his time “Coughing my guts up and praying for death.” Tony, Jinu and Manoj order fish-head curry (one of Tony’s favorites), casaba, and a steamed sweet coconut, rice and flour concoction that Tony likes. Tony says the food is really good.
The next food stop is NM Fast Food for an evening meal. Tony and his guide order a popular local dish, beef biryani, consisting of slow cooked beef and casaba mashed together. Tony relays the satisfaction of the dish which he thinks is perfect choice for after a night of drinking, telling the audience “They mash up slowly-cooked beef and cooked casaba, creating a satisfying but frankly leaden crowd-pleaser of stoner meat and starch loaf. It hits like a brick.” Tony is shown his photo with Mammootty in a local paper as Mr. Ambassador and says “I would like to be addressed as that, in the future. Mr. Ambassador? Your Eminence? I think that would be appropriate.”
Tony and a local guide visit the tea shop, where locals discuss politics, gossip and chat with their neighbors. The tea is made hot, then cooled by pouring it between two glasses to froth the tea. The cold tea goes with a popular breakfast of of rice and lentil pancakes, a savory lentil donut, and peas and coconut with a spicy chili and coconut chutney. Tony calls the meal a delicious breakfast.
Tony and his guide visit local craftsmen who make traditional cooking utensils, men of this caste system have been creating these vessels for centuries. Tony watches as the men heat metals and use forms to create the beautiful cooking pans used in Indian homes and for religious festivals. Tony and his guide attend the festival of Sheba, featuring decorated elephants, music, dancing, offerings at the temple and lively celebrations. The meal served during this festival is small and served on a banana leaf, with the suggestion that guests eat each section of food in order of how it is served on the leaf. Tony proclaims the all vegetarian meal of bitter gourd, rice and spiced food “Really, really good!”
Tony takes a trip on the famous Kerala house boats, originally known as hash boats for those who partook of hash as they rode on the water. Years later the hash boats turned into a luxury boat ride complete with sleeping quarters, private chef, and big screen TVs. Tony arrives to find the paparazzi are waiting for him because he has been photographed with actor Mammootty, making him the hot item of the day. Soon the papparazzi leave and Tony is left to ride on the boat and enjoy the luxury ride. Tony and his guides make a stop at a local store to buy lunch supplies, including prawns and fresh local fish. That evening on the hash boat, the personal chef and his crew cook for Tony and his guides: giant tiger prawns, fish cakes, chicken balls, bread and very spicy sauce. Tony tells his guides “I like nuclear hot. Burns going in, burns going out kind of thing.” As they finish their meal, Tony turns on the TV to watch a Mammootty film, telling his guides “Gentlemen, its been a good meal, a good day…its Mammootty time.”
Tony rides on a boat with his guides to find out what the locals eat. The locals will not eat the finer seafood because they are too valuable to sell for profit. Tony wants in on the locals food. They stop the boat and a man dives in the water to retrieve small black mussels, which Tony says looks like small clams. The diver brings up a large amount of mussels, which are thrown into a wok-like pan and steamed. Tony’s guide tells him they cook the mussels for an hour and Tony is shocked, mussels only take a few minutes to cook. The guide corrects himself and tells Tony it takes twenty minutes because they must kill off anything that will make them sick from eating the mussels. Tony looks over the water and agrees, the water looks pretty dicey. The meal of mussels is served with a spicy sauce and Tony says its spicy and good.
As the camera pans over Tony as he ride on the hash boat, Tony tells the audience of his experience in India: “There are few places I’ve been to in this world where virtually every meal I had was excellent, and people so gracious, and so generous with their time.”
